I find when I’m out and about I’m always thinking: “I should write a post about that!!” Then I come home, open up the laptop, and have no idea what those brilliant things were I was excited to write about hours before. Today I had at least three of those moments while running an errand or two, but decided to wait on those because I had started writing about something else a few days ago but didn’t finish. I guess the internet gods did not like that one, because that partial post was nowhere to be found. My drafts runneth empty. It was probably going to be my best, most insightful post ever, and now the world will never know. Much like all those other posts about who knows what that drift in and out of my brain.
In the past I have attempted to recreate the post; but it just never has the same feel as what I was going for the first time. I know it was something about how hard it is for me to share any kind of numbers with people. Then a story about how a girl from school asked me how much weight I’ve lost and I was evasive with the number. I happily shared with her my diet and exercise information, but not the total number I have lost. That was basically where I was when I stopped writing, and where I was going to continue from. I will try to do that now, and in the future maybe I’ll keep a list of topics I think of while out and about. It hasn’t helped before, but maybe it will this time.
I think the main reason it is hard for me to share the exact amount of weight I’ve lost is that I still have so much more to go. I have lost a good amount, making excellent progress towards my goals; but I am not yet halfway to my goal weight. Opening the door of the first number, the amount lost so far, I feel like might lead to follow up questions. How much do you have to go? What is your goal weight? What was your starting weight? How much do you weigh today?
Noooooooooo. I’m not sharing any of that information, thank you. Maybe one day. That magical day when I’m watching a football game and a players stats flash on the screen, to which a friend will say, “Man, that guy is HUGE;” and when I check the stats I finally see that the guy does in fact weigh more than I do. That day isn’t here yet. What happens after that comment is made nowadays is I look at the stats and see that the guy weighs less than I do and is usually a little bit taller. So if he is HUGE, then I am……..GINORMOUS?????
Possibly, when the day comes that I am much smaller than the average huge NFL player, I will be comfortable sharing my numbers. Maybe then I can say to anyone who asks, “I lost one-bajillionty pounds, and now weigh an amount that is a lot closer to the number my driver’s license says.” I have a feeling I will always think that this information is not for public knowledge.
I was taught that it’s rude to ask any numbers-related questions (weight, age, cost), which I think is another part of my discomfort with the situation. People seem so open about all of that stuff. Part of me thinks I should just get over it and give the number, but the other part thinks that is kind of b.s. If I’m not comfortable sharing a number, I shouldn’t convince myself to change my personal values. I’m also a believer in the good ol’ Golden Rule. I do not ask anyone their numbers, so no one should ask unto me.
There are plenty of questions I will answer. What kinds of foods are you eating? No bread? Really??? What is your exercise routine? Are those new jeans? Do you want to go on a walk with me sometime? Or maybe a bike ride? Roller skating?
If asked those questions I will respond with enthusiasm. Ask me for a number, and I will probably change the subject.